An update.

June 23, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , ,

Joel and I have decided to put our house-hunting on hold, because we need to save more money for a down payment and there isn’t much around in our price range that we both can agree on. Also, we feel like wedding planning/paying for should be more of a focus for now.

Speaking of wedding planning- it’s driving me a little crazy, because I feel like there is so much we need to do, but we’re at a kind of limbo at the moment. We probably need to have another meeting with Joel, myself, Jim and Jan, and my Dad about trimming the guest list and other various things. We’ve found a photographer that we might be using, which is kind of exciting. We’re meeting with him on Wednesday to discuss stuff and pricing.

Also, speaking of weddings, apparently Joel’s brother Josh got engaged to his girlfriend (now fiancee) Targol… which is great and all, but seems a little sudden. Josh is my brother’s age and has rushed into engagement before, so we’re a little worried. We all prefer Targol to the previous fiancee, but still… it seems rather soon. Also, Jen is going to be pissed that Josh and Targol got engaged before Jeremiah and her. She and Jeremiah have been together for 5-6 years and living together for a while, and there’s no ring. Jere’s in trouble.

No hope on the job front. I’m going to be continuing to sub at Fairport and work at Wegmans in the Floral department… and maybe eventually something will come up? It’s frustrating, but there’s not much I can do about it right now when there aren’t job openings to apply for.

I always start blog posts thinking I have a lot to talk about and then about half way through I forget everything I was planning on saying. Boo.

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House-hunting is an emotional roller coaster

June 9, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , ,

I was in love with a house that I met on the internetz… but it was taken away from me before we could meet IRL. It made me sad.

Then we went to look at a house that I thought looked kinda crap on the internetz, but in person I could see it really working for us. 3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths, a small deck, a pool, a relatively large yard (narrow yard, but long for in the village), it was built in 1932 but has recently had a lot of work done on it and it is only $125,000. Joel needs to go and talk to some mortgage people to figure out the financial bit, and his brother wants to do a walk-through, but I think it could really work. Joel does not seem to be as sold on it as I am, but for the price-range that we are looking for, I think it’s a great deal… so now I just have to wait for him to talk to the mortgage-y people and take his brother to see it and whatnot.

The longer we wait, the more I worry that someone else is going to jump on it and we’ll be screwed. *sigh*

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Worst blogger ever? Perhaps…

June 2, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , ,

Hello Blog!

How’s it going? Long time no see. I fail at blogging regularly. Wow, seriously, it’s June 1st and I haven’t blogged since mid-April. I’ll try to be better about that in das future.

Since April 19th, I’ve graduated from grad school. I am a MASTER bwahahahaha or something. :-) Not having classes is still really surreal. I keep thinking I have homework to do or books that I’ve been assigned to read or whatever. I think it’ll be even more surreal in September. Even though I’ve been taking summer classes for my Master’s, September always feels like when School starts… so when it doesn’t this year, I’ll probably be very confused. My diploma came in the mail last week, it’s pretty and says I have a Masters in Science… but not what the degree is in which kind of bothers me, but I’ll survive. Planning a graduation party for next Saturday, so that should be fun.

Since April 19th, I’ve subbed a LOT more. I still love it. I don’t sub at Perry as much because the hour long drive is lame and I get paid less, but Fairport has been calling me to sub pretty regularly which is awesome. I even got to proctor AP exams. Woohoo! Seeing as a permanent teaching job doesn’t seem to be on the horizon for me anytime soon, I love that I love subbing because I could probably do this for a least a couple more years without going entirely crazy.

Since April 19th, I’ve joined the Rochester Athletic Club for Women (the RAC) to try and get myself in some sort of shape other than round. I’ve been going 4-5 times a week for about 6 weeks now and I’m not seeing the results… although apparently other people can see them or something… I have my re-eval on Thursday, so hopefully when she weighs me and does all the measurements and whatnot, that will prove to me that there is something positive going on… and if it doesn’t, I will be really frustrated. I’ve been giving up time spent with my fiance and friends and family to go to the gym and better myself, so it had better be doing something.

I have more to write about but my brain just shut down… I’ll post again soon, hopefully.

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Long time no see…

April 19, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Hello blog. I have been neglecting you. It’s been almost a month and a half since I last wrote. Weeeeeeird.

I’ve been subbing like mad whoa… I’ve subbed 15 days at Fairport since March 6th. It’s been pretty awesome. I’ve been having fun being a different type of teacher every day… math, Spanish, English, reading lab/student learning center, math lab, etc etc etc. I’ve been enjoying it a lot!

I finished my Capstone and presentation. I’m so glad it’s done! Except now I’m having the worst time focusing on the little bit of homework that I have left to do for coaching. Hence the update. LoL.

My graduation is May 9th, and then I won’t be a student anymore which will probably be the strangest thing ever… I’ve been a student since I was what? 5? 4, if you count play-school and preschool… It’s going to be surreal not being a student. I can’t wait to have time to get through the books that I want to read instead of ones I have to. Although the list of have to still exists, because people keep suggesting/lending books to me… so yeah, I guess it’s still kind of assigned reading.

I’ve been engulfed by wedding planning. T minus 13 months. :-) I thought I had figured out my flowers, but now I’m not sure… I was thinking of just doing roses (orange and pink) for the bouquets, but I’m back to liking the idea of mixed flowers… roses and alstroemeria and maybe gerbs… I dunno. I’m so indecisive.

We have a reception venue, Burgundy Basin Inn in Fairport. It’s closer to the church and has a special with a local hotel with a shuttle and everything. Yay.

Okay, I probably have more to talk about… but I have to actually get this homework done. Last homework ever!! (that I’ll be doing… not assigning).

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My calling, let me show you it.

March 6, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , ,

Got called to sub at Fairport today!! At the middle school that I attended. :-)

And I discovered something about myself:

I want my own classroom in a middle or high school (before it was definitely high school, but I love middle school too). I want posters on the wall and a desk filled with my stuff. And students who listen to me or even students who don’t listen to me, but students. I’m usually a bit nervous before I start talking in front of the class, but once I start, I’m good to go. I love interacting with the kids, bantering with them when necessary- being an authority figure when it’s needed.

I feel at home and at ease when I’m in front of the classroom. Sure I only slept from 5:45 am to 7 am this morning, sure my feet are killing me because my socks are too tight and my shoes aren’t as comfortable as I thought, sure I feel like I have to hide parts of my personality in order to give off that teacher-y vibe, but that doesn’t matter. I love teaching.

I love teaching. I LOVE TEACHING!

I definitely need to keep this entry somewhere where I can see it because I’ve questioned my calling on a regular basis- but I shouldn’t… this is who I am. This is who I’m meant to be.

I Am A Teacher.

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Fucking subconscious…

March 5, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged ,

I had a weird dream that wasn’t bad until the end and until I woke up and thought about it.

We were at this futuristic mall/spaceship cruise/hotel thing (but it was now, so that was weird). It was Joel, Iain and Susan, my Dad, Lesley and Tim… and my Mum. She had apparently been brought back from the dead (and she wasn’t a zombie or a robot or a cloud of ashes or anything, she was herself). And it was great. We were all acting as if nothing had happened and we were happy and everyone was enjoying themselves.

The spaceship had a self-service kitchen that we all made dinner together in and it was an incredibly happy moment. Then we got back to the parking garage and the car and we all piled in to go home and I had to move some papers to get into my seat and when I looked at them, I realized that they were burial/cremation/funeral home pamphlets and when I asked about it, my Dad explained that yes, Mum was back, but it was only going to be for a week and then she would die again and we had to make the arrangements for her 2nd funeral.

So yeah, really enjoyable dream up until the ending… and then when I woke up, I started thinking about it and how great it was to have her back and everything and now I’m completely thrown off.

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Getting better all the time…

February 28, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , ,

I’ve been shunning social contact for the most part, in order to get work done on my coaching and capstone stuff. I’m ahead of the game for coaching now, still behind in capstone, but I’m working on it, which is a big improvement over the whole not working on it thing. I think the fact that I only have 5 weeks until my complete draft of my capstone is due is definitely making me want to get to work on it… which is making me feel like I’m accomplishing something which is pulling me out of my random sinking depression somewhat.

Also, Erica showed that she actually cares about me by bringing me lunch from Magnolia’s Cafe, so we could have some us time while I took a break from working. That was pretty awesome and is helping me feel better about things as well. So, yay feeling better.

I feel like a douche because I haven’t been able to hang out with Sisan this week. I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve seen her and seeing as she can’t get really out of her house (stupid broken foot), I feel like it’s my fault… but I really need to get ahead on my capstone before I feel able to hang out and do social things… hopefully I can get a ton of work done tonight/tomorrow on it so we can do TV on Monday night when HIMYM is finally coming back.

Still have a huge to-do list, but I’m slowly being able to check things off, so that’s helping, too. Woohoo.

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I shouldn’t be complaining…

February 28, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Things are going pretty well…

-I will have my Master’s Degree in 10 weeks.

-I have a fiance who loves me madly and whom I love madly.

-I have a job.

-I’m relatively financially secure… not super-secure, but good for now.

-I have friends and family who care about me.

And yet tonight, I’m having one of my random sinking depressions.

I’m overwhelmed by the amount of school work I have left to do this semester. I’m overwhelmed by how expensive weddings are and how I want it to be a beautiful fairy-tale like party even though logically, I know we should just get eloped to save money and time and effort. I’m not happy as a part time grocery store employee and sometimes substitute teacher, but I don’t think I can get a full time job. I have a little bit of money, but not enough to be independent. My family and friends care about me and I care about them, but sometimes people just get on my nerves.

Sometimes I just want to run around screaming at the top of my lungs. Just to see if anyone would notice. I’m on an emotional rollercoaster that I just can’t deal with. Instead of actually getting anything done today, I made to do lists of the stuff I need to do. I planned for the cleaning craziness that will be happening once I graduate in May… and looked at houses online because Joel wants to get a house when his lease is up… except he keeps lowering the amount he would be willing/able to spend, but not changing the requirements that he has for said house. And we can’t afford the wedding we want, so how can he be looking for houses? Gah. I’ve got too much to worry about right now and I don’t feel like I can get anything done or calm down about anything and blargledeegoop.

And I miss my Mum and this Sunday would be her birthday if she were alive and it sucks that she’s dead and it still hurts and I hate that she’s not around. I hate that she won’t be here for my graduation from Grad School this May. She never graduated from college, so I’m sure she would be so fucking proud of me, but she’s not here to see it. FUCK. I don’t want to deal with this. I think that’s probably where a lot of these negative sinking depressive feelings are coming from, but I don’t want to deal with it because I don’t have time to deal with it… I have too much other stuff to do… I can’t afford to break down right now. I can’t afford to cry and let it out and deal with my emotions. Gah dammit. Crying now. Don’t have time. Need to stop. Gotta stop writing and go work on homework.

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Curbs leaping out at you… not good.

February 24, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , ,

So, I had just left a meeting at sjfc, and I was driving on the campus road and the curb leapt out of nowhere and attacked my tire. (Either that or I just wasn’t paying enough attention to where the curb was).

Big hole in tire + having to chase after my hubcap, not so much fun.

Luckily, I have the best daddy in the world and he brought me an extra tire and we changed my tire over to one of my summer ones. Then we drove it to Dunn Tire and found out that the road hazard warranty on the tire covers evil curbs!! Huzzah! And it will only cost $18.70 to get a new tire!! WOOHOO!!! :-)

And now I know how to change a flat tire, so that’s exciting I guess. It was still rather lame and evil and I hate curbs.

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So much to do, so little will to do it.

February 23, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , ,

Hi blog-reading-type people…

So, yeah, I hate how I was all about working out for *drumroll please* one day. I worked out today as well, but only did 15 minutes, and didn’t work out at all Friday, Saturday or Sunday… Bad Suzi, Bad! I’m going to try to do 15 minutes a day and then build up to the WW suggested 30 minutes a day because that is just crazy talk. Although I did enjoy my hour and 15 minute walk at the Rec Center on Thursday… so I may need to recreate that at some point.

In other news, I suck at WW yet again… I ate just my points for 2 days… and then the weekend was like “Wassup?!” and I was like “Hot dogs and beer and chicken fingers and Indian food? Why thank you! Points? What are those?” Gah. Trying to get back on the wagon today because I’m going to my weigh-in on Thursday whether I’ve lost or not, because I haven’t gone in 3 weeks and what’s the point of paying for a monthly pass if you only go once a month? Huh? Huh? Nothing. *sigh*

Other things I’m failing at right now: Giving a shit about either of my classes. Yes, one of my classes is my capstone (or thesis) and I’ve been all like “Wah, I don’t have any data” and now I have piles upon piles of data and I’m doing… NOTHING with it. *sigh* I’m considering going to Java’s tonight and comandeering a table and some coffee and getting some work done… or FVC instead because it’s closer and more conducive to working. Ooo, I could go to my meeting at 4, then go to the Rec Center and walk and then go to FVC and do work! Oooo, how exciting. Orrrr go to my meeting at 4, then go to FVC and do work, and then go to the Rec Center and walk! Ooo, also exciting! Although, best laid plans and all that…

Things I need to do (this week):

-Read 2 articles, write a reflection about them and send it to my professor (for tomorrow).

-Work on a Professional Development on the topic of “Boys and Books” for tomorrow.

-Read 57 questionnaires and blogs and stuff and come up with 3 themes/findings.

-Type up 3 themes/findings and send them to my critical partner(s).

-After getting feedback from my critical partner(s), revise themes and send them to my professor.

-Work on the Methods section of my capstone.

-Create a concept map based on my three themes, revise them again.

-Clean my room and do laundry (laundry is about 3 weeks overdue– luckily I have more clothes than anyone in the universe)

-Actually deposit some money in our “money for our wedding/honeymoon” account.

-Print pictures of Final Exam arrangements for Penn Foster Floral Design thing.

-Send final exam for Penn Foster Floral Design thing to Penn Foster.

-Work out for at least 15 minutes on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

-Figure out a way to get Joel an anniversary present without actually spending any money.

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